Thanks Giving

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. Hope you guys are safe and comfy at home, relaxing with family.

Last night I went to church for the first time in a long time and it made me realize that for the past 8 months or so, I haven't really paid attention to God and given Him the attention he deserves. I'm still not sure whether I believe in Christianity...but I'm pretty damn sure there's gotta be some higher power up there, because He's just guided me so much already, and it took church for me to realize it.

I'd say that I probably have had one of the smoothest college transitions that anybody has ever had. Okay so maybe people going to community college have it easier, but all things considered I think it's been great. I see now how He's given me guidance and allowed so many things to just fall into place. Even when I was sitting there worrying about the future, wondering about my decision not to dorm, wondering how the people were like (since I heard so many horror stories), how hard classes would be, He was probably just sitting up there laughing at me. His plan was so great.

He sent me great friends to blow up this idea into my face that people are inherently bad at Berkeley because of competition...wait, wasn't that always my thing, that people are inherently GOOD? Yes they are, because they're God's children. And these people showed me without even knowing it, that my decision not to dorm was absolutely the right one. I love to come home every day, and when I hear people whine and complain about wanting to go home, I know then how lucky I am. Even in the past month or two when I've been shunning him, he's worked miracles in my life. He's put my Chem professor into the newspaper, informed me that the books I read here can land you in jail for years in other places, and that there's just great opportunity here. It makes me feel lucky to be able to be here. Even though it's hard, He's showed me that this stuff is worth learning, is really interesting, and that I should try my best because I owe it to others. And so I need to stop complaining and give thanks.

Lord, I just want to thank You
For all that You've done for us.
Even though we sin against You,
Even when we shun Your Name,
You still awe us by showing Your forgiveness.

Lord, I want to thank You for the opportunities You have given me,
And I pray that You allow me to realize and take advantage of them.
I pray that I may do well in school, become a better person,
And hold up well under the pressures of a secular environment
So that I may be a good testimonial to Your Name.

Lord I want to thank You for all my friends and family,
For my aunt and uncle, mother and father,
My little cousins and my brother,
My friends at school and at church.
I pray that You may use them to show me the light.

Lord I pray that this Thanksgiving, You keep everyone safe
I pray that we may have a good time and give thanks
Without going crazy and sinning against Your Name.
I pray also that You take care of my three cousins there by Your side
And I pray that You remind me always that I owe them.

And it's in your Son's name I pray, Amen

Rest in peace, my three little guardian angels...